Green Cat-Sung Lullabies

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Das ist eigentlich ein Raptext, nicht wundern.

Green Cat-Sung Lullabies

Two young people on a three-tier wedding cake
Whose smiles shine brighter than a child soldier’s flash grenade
And while the couple’s laughing at their first dance
Some people hop around to get at least the chance

To survive in the blood and mud mixed rain drops
Gettin’ raped by some self-appointed rogue cops
21st century, still acting like wild dogs
Wanta bone? Here you go, we got enough corpses...

Let’em grow old, it’s gonna end up in a blast
And if the world goes bright, they’re actually blowin' it up, no chance
Plant a new cherry tree - Again, they cut it down like trash
They’re never gonna learn, don’t even try to recompense (for it)

Next step they’re sure, it’ll work out all right
Backwards, hey good job! Straight onto your landmine
Poisoned vultures lyin’ right beside’em
Hard luck, congrats, if you make it over next time!

[Chorus (oder so)]

And soldier daddy’s chewin’ on a gun
Then the bullet’s tearing up his tongue
And his daughter’s home, having fun, drunk mum,
Unaware that he will never (ever) come (BACK!)

Let us build another state of mind
With green cat-sung lullabies
And if the red manticore’s still terrified
We won’t get him back his pride – nevermind...

[Nicht mehr Chorus]

Jump into a half-empty glass of water
What did you expect? It’s spilling over
And everybody’s looking back and jumping after
No water left, just dead bodies and canned laughter

And you lift your kids on cherry trees
Write critical profound poetries
Lay down there a list of what you need
Just before your dog devours it, oops? Bon appétit!

Re-engage, grab an axe and chop’em into pieces
(Wha)t’ about we send them back our mighty god – greetings
Huh, you don’t need it? Can’t even breath with
The undisputed truth upon your belly button-piercing?

Nailed it, why would you even try to kill another man
Firmly convinced that his faith is worth a perma-ban
‘K, go ahead but take it to the playground over there
And fight around about who has the best imaginary friend.

Embarrassing how they try to argue with the whole world
Blinding out the fact that they’re already outnumbered
So now since I cheeky implicated common evilness
I won’t separate myself and stone you in my house of glass:

Introverted, complicated, unconfident tuna head
Egocentric laziness, melodramatic smart aleck
Gaming freak, anime weeb – well, generally visionary,
Ordinary, actually unnecessary everyman.


Note: Tunahead steht für ‘nen Spitznamen aus der Schulzeit, nicht wundern.

Erbittere Verbesserungsvorschläge.
 
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hi!
danke fürs Teilen deines Textes erstmal...ich bin mal so frei und werf dir meine Assoziationen dazu hin:

Green Cat-Sung Lullabies (ehrlich gesagt finde ich den Titel etwas sperrig/over the top, für meinen Geschmack gern was reduzierteres...Green, the Cat & Lullabies oder so)

Two young people on a three-tier wedding cake
Whose smiles shine brighter than a child soldier’s flash grenade -> geil!
And while the couple’s laughing at their first dance
Some people hop around to get at least the chance
coole Strophe, bis auf die letzte line...hop around ist irgendwie zu verspielt und unkonkret...was heißt Luete sprinngen herum um eine Chance für was zu bekommen...mhh...da geht noch was inhaltlich...

To survive in the blood and mud mixed rain drops
Gettin’ raped by some self-appointed rogue cops
21st century, still acting like wild dogs
Wanta bone? Here you go, we got enough corpses...
den rhyme koenntest du aufrecht erhalten, bspw. durch „wanta bone? got enough corpses..here you go“
Generell finde ich hier aber zu viel deftiges für meine Geschmack..klingt ei weig nach Metal. Kann mit Musik aber schon wieder andeers sein.


Let’em grow old, it’s gonna end up in a blast
And if the world goes bright, they’re actually blowin' it up, no chance
Plant a new cherry tree - Again, they cut it down like trash
They’re never gonna learn, don’t even try to recompense (for it)
They´ll never gonna change as long you stay behind the fence!

Next step they’re sure, it’ll work out all right
Backwards, hey good job! Straight onto your landmine
Poisoned vultures lyin’ right beside’em
Hard luck, congrats, if you make it over next time!

[Chorus (oder so)]

And soldier daddy’s chewin’ on a gun yeah! vielleicht ohne das And, aber cool!
Then the bullet’s tearing up his tongue
And his daughter’s home, having fun, drunk mum,
der Flow hakelt meines Hirns nach bissl...vielleicht...his daughters home having fun while mum is getting drunk
Unaware that he will never (ever) come (BACK!)

Let us build another state of mind
With green cat-sung lullabies
And if the red manticore’s still terrified
We won’t get him back his pride – nevermind...
zieht für mich!
[Nicht mehr Chorus]

Jump into a half-empty glass of water
What did you expect? It’s spilling over haha!
And everybody’s looking back and jumping after
No water left, just dead bodies (brains?) and canned laughter
nice!

And you lift (up?) your kids on cherry trees
Write critical profound poetries
Lay down there (wo?) a list of what you need mhh...die Zeile kann mehr...vielleicht...spiritualize (the poems) all the things you need/spiritual list of all the things..
Just before your dog devours it, oops? Bon appétit! ups!

Re-engage, grab an axe and chop’em into pieces
(Wha)t’ about we send them back our mighty god – greetings
Huh, you don’t need it? Can’t even breath with
The undisputed truth upon (lies in?) your belly button-piercing?

Nailed it, why would you even try to kill another man
Firmly convinced that his faith is worth a perma-ban
‘K, go ahead but take it to the playground over there
And fight around about who has the best imaginary friend.
yeah #2!

Embarrassing how they try to argue (mmmhh..do they...don´t they try to „command“) with the whole world
Blinding out the fact that they’re already outnumbered
So now since I cheeky implicated common evilness
I won’t separate myself and stone you in my house of glass:

Introverted, complicated, unconfident tuna head
Egocentric laziness, melodramatic smart aleck
Gaming freak, anime weeb – well, generally visionary,
Ordinary, actually unnecessary everyman.
yeah #3+4! Geiles finish...

Mein Eindruck: Packende Ideen wechseln sich mit kurzen Phasen des Leerlaufs ab. Ich glaube du hast auf jeden Fall die Phantasie, nnochmal was einzubügeln. Dann kannst du dem Ding den notwendigen Punch bis in die Haarspitzen geben. Probier auf jeden fall mal den Text in nem englischen Forum zu veröffentlichen um sprachlich sicherzugehen, dass die Nummer nicht zu weirdo klingt in Native-Ohren. Ansonsten weiß ich nicht ob du schonmal rhyme-seiten ausprobiert hast, helfen mi manchmal bei einigen Stellen! bspw. rhymezone..

wie immer...ist nur mein Feed, du kannst, musst aber nicht drauf eingehen.
Grüße!
 
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Schließe mich an
 

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