Human Monsters - kann bitte jemand korrekturlesen?

[Anibur]

Hier der Text:
Die zweite strophe fehlt aber noch...

HUMAN MONSTERS

STR

slowly my life is passing by
and i watch with eyes wide open
it is impossible to turn back time but
is it too late to turn around?

deep in my heart i really am
a starry-eyed idealist
but my voice within
advised me to give up

BRIDGE

how can they make the decisions for our lifes
they never lived this way
charity perished
in the depth of ruthless greed

REF

I sing a song about these nasty people
who think they're higher
human monsters without the slightest qualm

I'm seeking for the light
I can see the sun but never reach it
now I have realized and cry

did you ever note my tears
do you feel my dispair tonight
can i really change something
or watch idly what may betide

they are full of envy
egomaniacal, selfishly,
cold and bluntly
they watch them dieing

danke schonmal

 

[wilbour-cobb]

HUMAN MONSTERS

STR

slowly my life is passing by
My live is passing by slowly - falls die andere Satzstellung besser in deinen Rythmus passt, ist das aber ein Fehler, der gut verzeihlich ist.
and i watch with eyes wide open
it is impossible to turn back time but
is it too late to turn around?

deep in my heart i really am
a starry-eyed idealist
but my voice within
advised me to give up

BRIDGE

how can they make the decisions for our lifes
they never lived this way
charity perished
in the depth of ruthless greed

REF

I sing a song about these nasty people
"I'm singing ..
who think they're higher
human monsters without the slightest qualm

I'm seeking for the light
I can see the sun but never reach it
now I have realized and cry
ich glaube, ich weiss was du aussagen willst: jetzt habe ich das erkannt und muss weinen". Leider geht das so nicht ganz. Vielleicht eine Idee: I can see the sun but never reach it,this to realize makes me cry? Da kann man noch dran rumfummeln, dann passt das, da gibt es noch reichlich optionen.

did you ever note my tears
do you feel my dispair tonight
can i really change something
or watch idly what may betide
"betide" passt hier nicht, da fehlt auch der Anschluss. Das bedeutet eher "aus jemanden werden", eine genaue Übersetzung kann ich nicht anbieten.

Sonst passt alles!

they are full of envy
egomaniacal, selfishly,
cold and bluntly
they watch them dieing

danke schonmal [/QUOTE]

 

[Anibur]

danke sehr!

mit
"can i really change something
or watch idly what may betide"
wollte ich sagen:
kann ich wirklich etwas verändern
oder muss ich tatenlos zusehen was auch geschehen mag.

 

[wilbour-cobb]

ich habe gerade in einem Amerikanischen Thesaurus nachgeschlagen, da hat betide eine andere Bedeutung als im Britischen, was meine Spache ist.

Amerikanisch: be·tid·ed, be·tid·ing, be·tides
v.tr.
To happen to.
v.intr.
To take place; befall. See Synonyms at happen.

Britisch: betide - become of; happen to; "He promised that no harm would befall her"; "What has become of my children?"

Also passt dein Satz