Reviver

von Transistorkiller, 11.03.12.

  1. Transistorkiller

    Transistorkiller Registrierter Benutzer

    Im Board seit:
    23.03.08
    Zuletzt hier:
    25.08.14
    Beiträge:
    1.464
    Ort:
    Augsburg
    Zustimmungen:
    277
    Kekse:
    3.026
    Erstellt: 11.03.12   #1
    Never I lost my heart.
    Once I gave it away.
    (No one told me sadly) Sadly it was one way.
    That day I sold my smile.
    Years before mum took my happiness with every single slap in my face,
    with every single scream she pelt at my heart, with every drip of blood I lost on the ground.

    At the age of six my body got separated from my soul.
    As my daddy decided to go, inhaling flue gas of his car to find his peace of mind.
    I really hope he's doin' great wherever he is.
    Maybe he's a bit proud of his son. Hopefully he is.
    Ashamed I wish he didn't see me losing my way such often. Hope he was sleeping while I freaked out on chemicals and bottled poison.
    Hope he didn't see those times his son gave up on life.

    Never I lost my heart.
    Once I threw it away.
    Didn't realize it was one way.
    Basting pieces of hearts I ripped out together to replace mine.
    Appearing refused as a ghost. Trying to find my heart, I once gave away.
    Didn't realize it was one way.
     
  2. bass-baer

    bass-baer Registrierter Benutzer

    Im Board seit:
    27.11.07
    Zuletzt hier:
    3.08.17
    Beiträge:
    62
    Ort:
    Frankfurt am Main
    Zustimmungen:
    7
    Kekse:
    10
    Erstellt: 19.05.12   #2
    Die Struktur deines Songtextes ist schon ungewöhnlich:

    Refrain1
    Strophe 1
    Refrain2

    Die Refrains sind zweiteilig und unterscheiden sich im zweiten, längeren Teil ganz erheblich.
    Insgesamt sind die Refrains ziemlich lang und die einzige Strophe ist so lang wie zwei.
    Das kannst du bestimmt noch höhrbarer, konsumierbarer machen.


    Refrain 1?
    Never I lost my heart.
    Once I gave it away.
    (No one told me sadly)
    Sadly it was one way.

    That day I sold my smile.
    Years before mum took my happiness
    with every single slap in my face,
    with every single scream
    she pelt (shot?) at my heart,
    with every drip of blood
    I lost on the ground.

    Strophe 1
    At the age of six
    my body got separated from my soul.
    As my daddy decided to go
    and inhale (ing) (the?) flue gas of his car
    to find his peace of mind.
    I really hope he's doin' great
    wherever he is (may be?).

    Maybe he's a bit proud of his son.
    (And?) Hopefully he is.
    Ashamed I wish he didn't see me
    losing my way such (so?) often.
    Hope he was sleeping
    while I freaked out
    on chemicals and bottled poison.
    Hope he didn't see those times
    his son gave up on life.

    Refrain 2?
    Never I lost my heart.
    Once I threw it away.
    Didn't realize it was one way.

    Busting pieces of hearts I ripped out
    together (to gather?) and (to?) replace mine.
    Appearing refused as (like?) a ghost.
    Trying to find my heart,
    I once gave away.
    Didn't realize it was one-way.
     
  3. Transistorkiller

    Transistorkiller Threadersteller Registrierter Benutzer

    Im Board seit:
    23.03.08
    Zuletzt hier:
    25.08.14
    Beiträge:
    1.464
    Ort:
    Augsburg
    Zustimmungen:
    277
    Kekse:
    3.026
    Erstellt: 19.05.12   #3
    Ich teile meine Sachen ungern in bekannte Raster ein. Es sei denn, der Song verlangt es.
    Ich mag dieses unkonventionelle. Deshalb find ich Wörter wie "konsumierbar" auch sehr gruselig ;)
     
Die Seite wird geladen...

mapping