M
Mr.L.A.
Registrierter Benutzer
- Zuletzt hier
- 02.03.13
- Registriert
- 06.10.09
- Beiträge
- 42
- Kekse
- 12
Hallo liebe community,
Ich möchte euch mal einen text von mir zeigen, er gehört dem genere: punk/grunge/alternative an. ICh würde mich um konstruktive kritik echt freuen, sowohl inhaltlich als auch grammatikalisch... Wobei ich sagen will das ich mir ein paar kleine poetische freiheiten lasse, das was in klammer is würde noch dazu gehören um es inhaltlich verständlich zu machen, aber wird nicht mit gesungen...
So dann mal danke im vorraus...
cu LA
Ref:
Well i hope you know,
Well i hope you see.
My life´s destroyed, why did you go.
You just avoid (me) , I can´t believe.
Well i hope you know,
well i hope you see.
I am so emty, where are you now.
My bad situation, and you don´t know.
How to suffer...
Vers:
It is okey, it is the way.
Call me when you need me.
But I´m not allowed.
It is okey, it is the way.
Just cry on my shoulder.
And what is with me?
I can really see,
the difference between. (you and me)
Ref:::
Vers:
It is okey, it is the way.
Just don´t go along. (with me)
But I have to do.
It is okey, it is the way.
I am awkward for you.
play tough with me.
I can really see,
the difference between.(you and me)
Pre Ref before last ref:::
Yeah it´s true, (i) can´t suffer too.
JUst don´t give a fuck
about me and my life
Yeah it´s true, (i) can´t suffer too.
JUst don´t give a fuck
about me and my life.
Ich möchte euch mal einen text von mir zeigen, er gehört dem genere: punk/grunge/alternative an. ICh würde mich um konstruktive kritik echt freuen, sowohl inhaltlich als auch grammatikalisch... Wobei ich sagen will das ich mir ein paar kleine poetische freiheiten lasse, das was in klammer is würde noch dazu gehören um es inhaltlich verständlich zu machen, aber wird nicht mit gesungen...
So dann mal danke im vorraus...
cu LA
Ref:
Well i hope you know,
Well i hope you see.
My life´s destroyed, why did you go.
You just avoid (me) , I can´t believe.
Well i hope you know,
well i hope you see.
I am so emty, where are you now.
My bad situation, and you don´t know.
How to suffer...
Vers:
It is okey, it is the way.
Call me when you need me.
But I´m not allowed.
It is okey, it is the way.
Just cry on my shoulder.
And what is with me?
I can really see,
the difference between. (you and me)
Ref:::
Vers:
It is okey, it is the way.
Just don´t go along. (with me)
But I have to do.
It is okey, it is the way.
I am awkward for you.
play tough with me.
I can really see,
the difference between.(you and me)
Pre Ref before last ref:::
Yeah it´s true, (i) can´t suffer too.
JUst don´t give a fuck
about me and my life
Yeah it´s true, (i) can´t suffer too.
JUst don´t give a fuck
about me and my life.
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