Nighttime

[StayTuned]

Hey Guys,

Lange nicht gesehen. Ihr kennt das sooo viele Ideen und so wenig Zeit.

Hab mich mal wieder bisschen dem Songwriting gewidmet und das ist dabei rausgekommen. An 2-3 Stellen hab ich Zweifel wg der Zeiten aber mal sehen was ihr sagt.

Song ist Pop/Rock ala U2. Wir wollen doch alle die Welt verbessern gg

Sag mal bitte eure Meinung.

Los gehts:

Some plans didn’t end like you wished
And you now see the results of all you did
And when you look into the mirror in your
Cold and white bathroom in which you own voice yells

No one, who checks your mood
No one did prepare you or told you the secret to handle this

No one can excuse
No one walks in your shoes
And you feel like everybody looks right into your face.


Ref
You might be alone when the nighttime comes
That doesn’t matter
What matters is that you know
You can turn the dark inside into daylight after (the) night again


Did you now reach the end of anything you’ve planed
You stumble around like locked in another ones life.
You fear there’s no exit there although you searched everywhere
Nothing left of magic and romantic words you’ve heard

No one who holds your hand
No one with a new plan
Full of hope and joy of another start

No Meds to stop the pain
Only scars that remain
As a steady sign of someone you loved


Ref
You might be alone when the nighttime comes
That doesn’t matter
What matters is that you know.
You can turn the dark inside into daylight after the night again

 

[PANTARHEi]

Ein sehr ansprechender Text. Weiß zu gefallen. Einzige "Korrektur".

No one to hold your hand
No one off'ring a new plan (zwecks Silben mit Apostroph)
Full of hope and joy of another start

No Meds to stop the pain
Only scars that remain
As a steady sign of someone you loved --> holpert.
Ich würde für steady eher permanent nehmen, passt besser in den Kontext.

Gute Arbeit.

 

[StayTuned]

Hey Pantarhei,

dankeschön für die Blumen.
Die Verbesserungsvorschläge nehme ich gern an und verspreche das zu prüfen.

LG

Stay

 

[StayTuned]

Hallo Pantarhei,

Vorschläge passen super. Danke nochmal.

Sonst noch jemand?

 

[x-Riff]

Hi StayTuned,

das folgende sind eher andere Möglichkeiten, wie man es auch machen kann - vielleicht einfach ausprobieren:

Some plans didn't end like you wished
some plans didn´turn out as you whished
And you now see the results of all you did
statt all geht auch what
And when you look into the mirror in your
and when you´re looking oder and by looking
Cold and white bathroom in which you own voice yells

No one, who checks your mood
wie pantarhei schon an anderer Stelle anmerkte: hier geht auch no one to check your mood
No one did prepare you or told you the secret to handle this

No one can excuse
No one walks in your shoes
no one´s walking in your shoes
And you feel like everybody looks right into your face.
everybody´s looking


Ref
You might be alone when the nighttime comes
That doesn't matter
it statt that
What matters is that you know
You can turn the dark inside into daylight after (the) night again
am passenden fände ich that night ...


Did you now reach the end of anything you've planed
You stumble around like locked in another ones life.
you´re stumbling
You fear there's no exit there although you searched everywhere
zweimal there finde ich nicht so toll - das zweite kann weg ...
Nothing left of magic and romantic words you've heard
imho the magic and romantic words ...

No one who holds your hand
No one with a new plan
Full of hope and joy of another start
siehe pantarhei

No Meds to stop the pain
Only scars that remain
As a steady sign of someone you loved


Ref
You might be alone when the nighttime comes
That doesn't matter
What matters is that you know.
You can turn the dark inside into daylight after the night again

Wie gesagt: nur andere Möglichkeiten im wesentlichen ... gefällt mir gut, der Text

x-Riff

 

[StayTuned]

danke X-Riff. Ich werd die Sachen prüfen.

thx a lot