Take me away songtext

[RAF-MANN]

Heay Ich hab einen Text geschrieben für meine Band ,würde mich über angemessene Kritik freun oder verbässerungs Vorschläge
raindrops reflecting in the light
I feel the cold deep inside
I´m alone and the night is so long
the shadow in the background winding over
the silence in room makes me crazy
(but nobody will know )
I cannot fall asleep,´cause
all the things I kept on my mind
now they eating me inside
(but nobody will know )(but nobody will know )

Break the silence and pick me up now
Be my hero in the darkness hour
I need more than ever right now

Take me away out of here
Leave all this shit behind
Take me to a place in the sun
Far away where we can feel so fine
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away)



IT like my heart stopped beating
but sharpen light reminds I´m still alive
It´s such a blur, where are you know?
(but nobody will know )
I´M alright everything is just fine
thats what I`m alway pretending but not tonight
tears fall down , (but nobody will know )

I always hidde behind my mask ,but not tonight
(tonight,tonight)


Break the silence and pick me up now
Be my hero in the darkness hour
I need more than ever right now

Take me away out of here
Leave all this shit behind
Take me to a place in the sun
Far away where we can feel so fine
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away)
Leave all this shit behind
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away)
Leave all this shit behind
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away


Break the silence and pick me up now
Be my hero in the darkness hour
I need more than ever right now

Take me away out of here
Leave all this shit behind
Take me to a place in the sun
Far away where we can feel so fine
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away)

MFG stani

 

[x-Riff]

Dann fang ich mal an:

raindrops reflecting in the light
möglicherweise kommt reflecting the light besser, sonst mal native fragen
I feel the cold deep inside
I´m alone and the night is so long
the shadow in the background winding over
is winding over (was soll das heißen?)
the silence in room makes me crazy
(but nobody will know )
will know heißt eher wird es wissen, wants to know hieße eher - da schert sich keiner drum

Ich habe jetzt grade keine Zeit mehr und mache später weiter
I cannot fall asleep,´cause
all the things I kept on my mind
now they eating me inside
(but nobody will know )(but nobody will know )

Break the silence and pick me up now
Be my hero in the darkness hour
I need more than ever right now

Take me away out of here
Leave all this shit behind
Take me to a place in the sun
Far away where we can feel so fine
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away)



IT like my heart stopped beating
but sharpen light reminds I´m still alive
It´s such a blur, where are you know?
(but nobody will know )
I´M alright everything is just fine
thats what I`m alway pretending but not tonight
tears fall down , (but nobody will know )

I always hidde behind my mask ,but not tonight
(tonight,tonight)


Break the silence and pick me up now
Be my hero in the darkness hour
I need more than ever right now

Take me away out of here
Leave all this shit behind
Take me to a place in the sun
Far away where we can feel so fine
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away)
Leave all this shit behind
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away)
Leave all this shit behind
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away


Break the silence and pick me up now
Be my hero in the darkness hour
I need more than ever right now

Take me away out of here
Leave all this shit behind
Take me to a place in the sun
Far away where we can feel so fine
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away)

 

[wilbour-cobb]

ich mach mal weiter....

raindrops reflecting in the light
möglicherweise kommt reflecting the light besser, sonst mal native fragen
naja, kommt drauf an, entweder "refelected in the light" oder "..reflecting the light", je nach dem, was sich reflektieren soll.
I feel the cold deep inside
I´m alone and the night is so long
the shadow in the background winding over
is winding over (was soll das heißen?)
"to wind" ist wickeln, ich versteh den satz auch nicht..
the silence in room makes me crazy
(but nobody will know )
will know heißt eher wird es wissen, wants to know hieße eher - da schert sich keiner drum

Ich habe jetzt grade keine Zeit mehr und mache später weiter
ich helf dir.....
I cannot fall asleep,´cause
all the things I kept on my mind
"because of" wäre "wegen". "kept" ist past tente, hier muss "keep",
now they eating me inside
present progressiv immer mit "to be" "...they are eating"
(but nobody will know )(but nobody will know )

Break the silence and pick me up now
Be my hero in the darkness hour
I need more than ever right now

Take me away out of here
"..away from here"
Leave all this shit behind
Take me to a place in the sun
Far away where we can feel so fine
das "so" besser raus
( Take me away,Take me away,Take me away)


IT's like my heart stopped beating
but sharpen light reminds I´m still alive
"...reminds me of beeing alive" ist ne typische gerund konstruktion
It´s such a blur, where are you know?
(but nobody will know )
I´M alright everything is just fine
thats what I`m always pretending but not tonight
tears fall down , (but nobody will know )

I always hide behind my mask ,but not tonight
(tonight,tonight)

ich denke mal, du sprichst besser englisch als es hier rüberkommt, da sind sau viele vertipper und kleine fehlerchen drin, die müssen nicht sein. bisschen konzetration.

"verbässerung" in deinem einleitungstext ist ein schönes beispiel.

 

[x-Riff]

It´s such a blur, where are you know?
where are you now? to know (wissen) paßt hier imho gar nicht rein. Was soll das heißen?
(but nobody will know )
Noch als Ergänzung zu wilbours Ergänzungen.

"verbässerung" in deinem einleitungstext ist ein schönes beispiel

Der spielt bestimmt Bass. Basser lieben solche Wortwitze.

Die Aussage vom Text ist klar, denke ich.

Wie soll´s denn von der musikalischen Seite her werden?

x-Riff

 

[RAF-MANN]

HEay danke für die Tips ,a ich weiß ich mach viele Fehler bin Legasteniker Soll eine Poppunk Ballade werden...^^ ich lass euch dann mehr wissen wenns Fertig ist vllt stell ich mal ne Aufnahme rein wenn alles fertig ist .
mfg stani