Take a Look

[Heaven Insane]

I´ve heard my name, whats wrong with me ?
Am I
senseless changing to what you want to see?
a moving art of what you want me to be?
another picture you´ve drawn to multiplie

the way you slide your brush on my life
Can you respect yourself in those damn blue eyes?
Or can´t you get through to your mind?
`Cause my eyes, they just shine so bright
Too bright for you so you want to change
but the brush reviews just your missing might

Look me in the eyes

It will be a long time ´till they stop
So what happened to you ?

i´m no still standing
but what happened to you??
You are not as clear as before
You are not as I´ve known you before
You are not my idol anymore

So I´ve got to get away
I´ve got to walk out of my cross way
So I´ve lost my trust into you
I´ve got to walk away from you

Look me in the eyes
you Look into your own

I just always wanted to be like you
Now I´m just a mirror,
Changing my picture
everywhere I go
Lost my own mind
but getting all right

I´ve been Lost
I have lost all of humanity
doesn´t matter,´cause this is reality

I´m changing my picture everyday
´Cause this is my way to solve it all
It´s rediculous, cause I cant see myself anymooooroe

Look me in the eyes
you Look into your own

Look me in the eyes
you Look into your own

 

[Paddycore]

Take a Look
I´ve heard my name, whats wrong with me ?
Am I
senseless changing to what you want to see?
a moving art of what you want me to be?
another picture you´ve drawn to multiplie

the way you slide your brush on my life
Can you respect yourself in those damn blue eyes?
Or can´t you get through to your mind?
`Cause my eyes, they just shine so bright
Too bright for you so you want to change
but the brush reviews just your missing might Den Part versteh ich nicht so richtig. Holpert auch ein wenig

Look me in the eyes

It will be a long time ´till they stop
So what happened to you ? was soll der Part aussagen?

i´m no still standing I´m not standing still müsste es heißen
but what happened to you??
You are not as clear as before
You are not as I´ve known you before
You are not my idol anymore

So I´ve got to get away
I´ve got to walk out of my cross way
So I´ve lost my trust into you I´ve lost my trust in you.
I´ve got to walk away from you

Look me in the eyes into statt in?
you Look into your own

I just always wanted to be like you
Now I´m just a mirror,
Changing my picture
everywhere I go
Lost my own mind
but getting all right

I´ve been Lost
I have lost all of humanity I lost all my humanity vlt?
doesn´t matter,´cause this is reality

I´m changing my picture everyday
´Cause this is my way to solve it all
It´s rediculous, cause I cant see myself anymooooroe

Look me in the eyes
you Look into your own

Look me in the eyes
you Look into your own

Holpert am Anfang doch ziemlich, aber man erkennt recht schnell worums geht.
Das Thema Gefällt mir gut, aber ich hätte mir etwas mehr BIldliche ausschmückung vorgestellt. Zu direkt für meinen Fall, aber das is geschmackssache.
An manche Stellen ist schwer zu verstehen, was du ausdrücken willst

Hoffe ich konnte helfen.

Pat

 

[x-Riff]

Hi Heaven Insane

ein paar Anmerkungen zu Deinem Text:


Take a Look

I´ve heard my name, whats wrong with me ?
Am I
senseless changing to what you want to see?
senselessly, imho
a moving art of what you want me to be?
another picture you´ve drawn to multiplie

the way you slide your brush on my life
Can you respect yourself in those damn blue eyes?
Kannst Du Dich respektieren in diesen verdammten blauen Augen? Verstehe ich nicht. Meinst Du, wenn Du selbst in diese / Deine Augen schaust? Dann müßte da noch ein looking into rein, imho ...
Or can´t you get through to your mind?
`Cause my eyes, they just shine so bright
Too bright for you so you want to change
was möchte sie ändern? Deine Augenfarbe?
aber die Reviews von Pinseln, die Du vermißt, könnten das? Ich kann das generelle Bild erahnen und das zieht sich ja auch durch: die Person, die sich die Welt und andere Personen so (aus-) malt wie sie es gerne hätte ... aber hinter diese Konstruktion steige ich nicht ganz durch, ehrlich gesagt ...

Look me in the eyes
Look into my eyes, imho

It will be a long time ´till they stop
So what happened to you ?

i´m no still standing
I´m not standing still (Ich stehe nicht still / bin nicht im Stillstand)?
but what happened to you??
You are not as clear as before
You are not as I´ve known you before
like statt as, imho
You are not my idol anymore

So I´ve got to get away
I´ve got to walk out of my cross way
Was meinst Du mit cross way?
So I´ve lost my trust into you
in statt into, imho
I´ve got to walk away from you

Look me in the eyes
you Look into your own
Look(ing) into my eyes
(is like / and) you´re looking into you own

I just always wanted to be like you
das just würde ich weglassen, das nimmt Wirkung weg, imho
Now I´m just a mirror,
Changing my picture
everywhere I go
Lost my own mind
but getting all right

I´ve been Lost
I have lost all of humanity
das of weg ...
doesn´t matter,´cause this is reality

I´m changing my picture everyday
´Cause this is my way to solve it all
It´s rediculous, cause I cant see myself anymooooroe

Look me in the eyes
you Look into your own
siehe oben

Look me in the eyes
you Look into your own

So weit finde ich es alles verständlich und nachvollziehbar, warum das Lyrische Ich ihre Menschlichkeit verliert, ist mir aber nicht so recht klar geworden ... ist ne Menge Text - wenn es so paßt, ist es gut ... ansonsten könnte man es etwas straffen, da sind ein paar Wiederholungen drin, so dass die eigentlich Knackpunkte manchmal etwas unterzugehen drohen ...

In welche Richtung soll es denn musikalisch gehen?

x-Riff