Like a disease in my head

[Jakuzzy]

Dies ist ein eeetwas älterer Text von mir, habe den bissl verändert und würde gerne wieder wissen, ob das von der Gramatik usw. so stimmt. Danke


I remeber our Time so often
I´m always in Love with you
now i think where the fu*k is my Fortune?
Cause my Love is still so true

(Ref.)
It´s like a disease in my head
And just wanna be dead
want stop thinking bout you
couse my Love is still true
and i oonly want youu..
you

(Ver.1)
Now you have a new Guy
Its your typical choise
you know this Love is a lie
cause he´s only one of your toys


And he just want your body
i gave you all my love and my time
you only look at his money
breaking my heart was like a crime


(Ref.)
It´s like a disease in my head
And just wanna be dead
want stop thinking bout you
couse my Love is still true
and i only want youu..
you...

(Ver.2)
Your Love was a big fake
you played only your silly game
I dont know how, how you take
my heart away,see, my pain is your blame


(Abschluss)
When i see you i feel anger
when i touch you i feel love
and i started givin you it
since i met you first time in may
but you throw it away
But you throw it awaaay!!!



(Ref.)
It´s like a disease in my head
And just wanna be dead
want stop thinking bout you
couse my Love is still true
and i oonly want youu..
you...

 

[x-Riff]

Hi Jakuzzy,

ich bleib mal bei dem grammatikalischen (Rechtschreibfehler wie das großgeschriebene Time in der ersten Zeile lasse ich aber weg ...), ein paar Sachen habe ich gefunden:

I remeber our Time so often
I´m always in Love with you
now i think where the fu*k is my Fortune?
Cause my Love is still so true

(Ref.)
It´s like a disease in my head
And just wanna be dead
man rafft schon, dass man da ein "I" einfügen müßte, aber grammatikalisch sauberer wäre And I just wanna be dead
want stop thinking bout you
want to stop
couse my Love is still true
and i oonly want youu..
you

(Ver.1)
Now you have a new Guy
Its your typical choise
you know this Love is a lie
cause he´s only one of your toys


And he just want your body
wants
i gave you all my love and my time
you only look at his money
dieses look at ist sehr bildlich und direkt gemeint: Du schaust nur auf sein Geld; looking for würde bedeuten: du bist nur auf sein Geld aus, andere Varianten wären: you´re only interested in his money oder you only love his money
breaking my heart was like a crime


(Ref.)
It´s like a disease in my head
And just wanna be dead
want stop thinking bout you
couse my Love is still true
and i only want youu..
you...
siehe oben

(Ver.2)
Your Love was a big fake
you played only your silly game
grammatikalisch sauberer wäre you only played your silly game
I dont know how, how you take
so wie ich es verstehe muss das in die Vergangenheit: how you took - denn dass sie Dein Herz wegnahm geschah ja in der Vergangenheit, oder?
my heart away,see, my pain is your blame


(Abschluss)
When i see you i feel anger
when i touch you i feel love
and i started givin you it
grammatikalisch sauberer: and I started giving it to you
since i met you first time in may
the first time
but you throw it away
But you throw it awaaay!!!
Auch hier gehört meinem Verständnis nach die Vergangenheit hin: aber du hast es weggeschmissen - but you have/you´ve thrown it away



(Ref.)
It´s like a disease in my head
And just wanna be dead
want stop thinking bout you
couse my Love is still true
and i oonly want youu..
you...

Yu - wär´s so weit aus meiner Sicht.
Paar Fehlerchen ausbügeln dann wird das funzen.

x-Riff