smoke rings they are killing me

[JackBlack]

hab grad ein lied geschrieben,
die übergänge sind noch nicht so ausgearbeitet aber ich
wüsste zu gerne was ihr davon haltet
es geht irgendwie um meine ex,
und um frauen halt.


der text geht so

blown away by white light,
i ain´t over here,
blinded by the darkness,
what i´v had seems worthless,
still i come back looking for
a good time or a moment just to share

Inner riot,
in a riot,
i can´t go wrong,
with someone by my side,
would really change my life,
and she would do the same for me,
as i do for her yes i do for her

But am i happy,
i donßt know,
cause i can´t compare to you,
how about coming over here,
cause smoke rings they are killing me


i ride pleasant,
i ride pleased into the night
goodbye evening sun,
pretty pale but still,
as pretty as the first time that i saw it
23 years ago

baby baby,
baby baby
i had to go,
bloodstains on the wall,
remind me not to fall,
when i go back.... all alone

Am i lucky i don´t know,
cause i can´t compare to you,
how bout coming over here,
cause smoke rings they are killing me



http://rapidshare.com/files/237161538/smoke_rings.mp3.html

 

[x-Riff]

Hi BlackJack,

einige Anmerkungen zu Deinem Text:

blown away by white light,
i ain´t over here,
Da verstehe ich den Zusammenhang nicht: Ich bin nicht hier?
blinded by the darkness,
what i´v had seems worthless,
what I had, imho
still i come back looking for
a good time or a moment just to share

Inner riot,
in a riot,
schönes Wortspiel
i can´t go wrong,
das komma muss da imho weg ...
with someone by my side,
would really change my life,
and she would do the same for me,
as i do for her yes i do for her
as I´d do oder as I did for her, imho

But am i happy,
i donßt know,
cause i can´t compare to you,
how about coming over here,
cause smoke rings they are killing me


i ride pleasant,
pleasantly (adverb) oder with pleasure
i ride pleased into the night
goodbye evening sun,
pretty pale but still,
as pretty as the first time that i saw it
it? nicht she?
23 years ago

baby baby,
baby baby
i had to go,
bloodstains on the wall,
remind me not to fall,
when i go back.... all alone

Am i lucky i don´t know,
cause i can´t compare to you,
how bout coming over here,
cause smoke rings they are killing me

Gefällt mir gut - sind schöne Wendungen drin, und die Stimmung kommt gut rüber.

x-Riff

 

[JackBlack]

blown away by white light,
i ain´t over here,
Da verstehe ich den Zusammenhang nicht: Ich bin nicht hier?

ja, genau das is der zusammenhang.
vieleicht"mein körper is da, aber mein geist nicht" oder so
blinded by the darkness,
what i had seems worthless,
what I had, imho
still i come back looking for
a good time or a moment just to share

Inner riot,
in a riot,
schönes Wortspiel
i can´t go wrong
das komma muss da imho weg ... ok
with someone by my side,
would really change my life,
and she would do the same for me,
as i´d do for her yes i do for her ok
as I´d do oder as I did for her, imho

But am i happy,
i donßt know,
cause i can´t compare to you,
how about coming over here,
cause smoke rings they are killing me


i ride with pleausre, dacht ich mir das das falsch ist
pleasantly (adverb) oder with pleasure
i ride pleased into the night
goodbye evening sun,
pretty pale but still,
as pretty as the first time that i saw it
it? nicht she?
23 years ago

baby baby,
baby baby
i had to go,
bloodstains on the wall,
remind me not to fall,
when i go back.... all alone

Am i lucky i don´t know,
cause i can´t compare to you,
how bout coming over here,
cause smoke rings they are killing me




dankeschön

 

[wilbour-cobb]

blown away by white light,
i ain´t over here,
Da verstehe ich den Zusammenhang nicht: Ich bin nicht hier?

ja, genau das is der zusammenhang.
vieleicht"mein körper is da, aber mein geist nicht" oder so

Es ist aber sozusagen nicht falsch, da es "Ich bin hier noch nicht fertig" bedeutet. Aber das will der Autor ja gar nicht sagen.