smile to me

[Zündapp]

Hallo Leute,

hier mal wieder ein kleiner einfacher Text.
Musikalisch soll es ein nettes rockiges stück werden.
Ich bitte um Kommentare und natürlich sprachliche Verbesserungen.



smile to me

smile to me and feel
how good a smile can be
lay down in my arms
and feel…… you're getting warm
you know you're very special
to me…. and you ever will be

so take my hand an see
how good a touch can be
kiss my lips and taste
this love… it is your fate
you know you're very special
to me…. and you ever will be

I never want to see you cry
I never want to change your mind
keep up of being right yourself,
of breaking rules and thinking different

I enjoy getting old with you
to share the times even if you feel blue
I'm thrilled what the future brings to us
happy to be your man…… it's sometimes tough ;-)

I never want to see you cry
I never want to change your mind
keep up of being right yourself
of breaking rules and thinking different

 

[donay]

heho. erste korrektur



smile at me

smile at me and feel
how good a smile can be
lay down in my arms
and feel…… you're getting warm hmm.
you know you're very special
to me…. and you ever will be

so take my hand an see
how good a touch can be
kiss my lips and taste
this love… it is your fate
you know you're very special
to me…. and you ever will be ich weiss nicht ob man hier besser and you will ever be nehmen sollte. wobei ich nicht weiss ob man das darf...

I never want to see you cry
I never want to change your mind
keep up of being right yourself,being right yourself? das right verstehe ich nicht
of breaking rules and thinking different

I enjoy getting old with youbecoming statt getting. und dann i'd enjoy becoming old with you
sharing the times when you feel blue
I'm thrilled what the future brings to us
happy to be your man…… it's sometimes tough ;-)

I never want to see you cry
I never want to change your mind
keep up of being right yourself
of breaking rules and thinking different

das sind die sachen welche mir aufgefallen sind. es heisst smile AT und statt das if, das when you feel blue. die anderen sachen bin ich mir nicht sicher

 

[wilbour-cobb]

smile at me
"to" ist OK, "at" natürlich auch richtig - am besten wäre aber "for"

smile at me and feel
how good a smile can be
lay down in my arms
and feel…… you're getting warm hmm.
you know you're very special
to me…. and you ever will be

so take my hand an see
how good a touch can be
kiss my lips and taste
this love… it is your fate
you know you're very special
to me…. and you ever will be ich weiss nicht ob man hier besser and you will ever be nehmen sollte. wobei ich nicht weiss ob man das darf...
muss sogar: "you will always be", "always" ist hier geeigneter als "ever"

I never want to see you cry
I never want to change your mind
keep up of being right yourself,being right yourself? das right verstehe ich nicht
"right" kann sowas wie "genau" bedeuten, frei übersetzt: "bleib einfach du selbst". Das "of" ist aber falsch, "keep up beeing right yourself..."
of breaking rules and thinking different

I enjoy getting old with youbecoming statt getting. und dann i'd enjoy becoming old with you
nein, "getting old" ist richtig
sharing the times when you feel blue
das "even" kann aber stehenbleiben
I'm thrilled what the future brings to us
besser "will bring us"
happy to be your man…… it's sometimes tough ;-)

I never want to see you cry
I never want to change your mind
keep up of being right yourself
of breaking rules and thinking different
hier auch logischerweise kein "of"

 

[donay]

übrigens schöner text!

 

[Zündapp]

Ganz vielen lieben Dank Jungs.

Hier ein update

smile for me


smile for me and feel
how good a smile can be
lay down in my arms
and feel…… you're getting warm
you know you're very special
to me…. and you ever will be

so take my hand an see
how good a touch can be
kiss my lips and taste
this love… it is your fate
you know you're very special
to me…. and you will always be

I never want to see you cry
I never want to change your mind
keep up being right yourself
of breaking rules and thinking different

I enjoy getting old with you
sharing the times even when you feel blue
I'm thrilled what the future will bring us
happy to be your man…… it's sometimes tough ;-)

I never want to see you cry
I never want to change your mind
keep up being right yourself
of breaking rules and thinking different

 

[donay]

das muss natürlich beide mal geändert werden:
to me…. and you will always be

oder?

 

[Zündapp]

das muss natürlich beide mal geändert werden:
to me…. and you will always be

oder?

oups..... stimmt.

betrachtet es bitte als geändert an