Mein erster Songtext - All the same

[Marocaine]

All the same

Let's change personalities
So we can act like we are one
And if I miss a piece of mind
I'm meeting you and then it's done

If there's a girl I love so deep
We have some stuff to talk about
And if I miss a piece of heart
You'll stand with me besides the crowd

Refrain:
So don't take your hat too far in your face
Cause we are the same in speech and in grace
We are all just part of a race
There's no line between you and me

When I'm hurt I really want
To see you cry and suffer too
When I feel grown up I want
To have some English tea with you

When I lose sense I real' don't want
To travel solo Lulu land
I need a mirror-face of mine
To keep the warmth inside my hand

Refrain 2x:
So don't take your hat too far in your face
Cause we are the same in speech and in grace
We are all just part of a race
There's no line between you and me

I'll scratch my skin
I'll scratch my skin
I collect people in a tin
I'm feeling sin
I'm feeling sin
I'm eating hearts ouf of a tin

Refrain
So don't take your hat too far in your face
Cause we are the same in speech and in grace
We are all just part of a race
There's no line between you and me


Da sind glaub zwei Fehler von der Grammatik drin, aber mich würde vor allem interessieren, wie der Ausdruck des Textes ankommt. Freue mich über jede Kritik, egal wie hart
Mfg
Maro

 

[wilbour-cobb]

Da sind glaub zwei Fehler von der Grammatik drin, aber mich würde vor allem interessieren, wie der Ausdruck des Textes ankommt. Freue mich über jede Kritik, egal wie hart
Mfg
Maro


hab den ein oder anderen gefunden....

All the same

Let's change personalities
So we can act like we are one
And if I miss a piece of mind
I'll meet with you and then it's done das "with" ist hier ueberfluessig, sogar eher falsch.

If there's a girl I love so deep
I know there's you to talk about hmm besser "talk with" oder "talk to", so geht der bezug floeten, denke ich mal. so heisst es, dass du mit dem maedchen ueber "ihn" reden kannst, nicht umgekehrt
And if I miss a piece of heart
You'll stand with me besides the crowd

Refrain:
So don't push your hat too far in your face bin ich mir nicht sicher, schreib ich die take mal was zu. "pull" oder "push", "in" oder "into" - schwierig
Cause we are the same in speech and in grace
We're all just part of a race
There's no line between you and me

When I'm hurt I want you too
To suffer and to cry with me
When I feel major than I want "major" passt hier nicht, das heisst mehr "wesentlich" oder "haupt irgendwas", "groesser" im sinne von "bedeutend" ist "bigger", "ueberlegen sein" ist "superior" oder "predominant"
To Have with you some English tea satzbau : "to have some english tea with you"

When I lose sense I real' don't want "sense" muesste am besten auf die person bezogen sein, "real'" - naja - kreativ aber eigentlich nicht erlaubt, "solo" heist "alleine" aber nicht als adjektiv. da geht nur "alone"
To travel solo Lulu land
I need a mirror-face of mine
To keep the warmth inside my hand

Refrain 2x:
So don't push your hat too far in your face
Cause we are the same in speech and in grace
We're all just part of a race
There's no line between you and me

I'll scratch my skin
I'll scratch my skin
I collect people in a tin
I'm feeling sin
I'm feeling sin
I'm eating hearts ouf of a tin

Refrain
So don't push your hat too far in your face
Cause we are the same in speech and in grace
We're all just part of a race
There's no line between you and me

 

[Marocaine]

So, hab mal einiges davon korrigiert. Dankeschön!