Metalcore 2

[Danielbfmv91]

Noch ein Metalcore text zum korregieren.
Hoffe ihr schaut mal rüber
Lg Daniel

Throne




Strophe:
I am the King of the Throne!
Hail to me, becouse you cant stop me.
The Crown is mine like your Souls!
Everyone will Remain.


Bridge:
On Top of the Hill!
On Top of the World!
Accept your destiny and obey!




Chorus:
My Kingdom will ever reign.
But the desire comes closer.
A heart like stone will never remain the mountain of feelings,
only the wall of solitude!


Strophe 2:
Alone on the top of the Throne!
No one to Hail, No one to serve.
Falling on the Ground, the Hands will drag me Down!
The End is near, The end is near!


Breakdown:
I Dont Fall! I must Remain!
Down on the Ground!
Down on your knees!


Chorus:
My Kingdom will ever reign.
But the desire comes closer.
A heart like stone will never remain the mountain of feelings,
only the wall of solitude!


Epic:
Now its Done! My Reign is destroyed!
Whave I Done? My Destiny is decided!
Please show Mercy!
I Beg on you!

 

[wallabie]

Um jetzt mal ganz ehrlich zu sein. In beiden Texten sind sehr viele Fehler im tiefsten Denglisch vorhanden. Schaue da bitte noch einmal drüber und poste eine korrigierte Version. Wenn du zumindest die größten Fehler nicht selber findest, wäre dies ein Zeichen, dass du es vielleicht einmal in deiner Muttersprache versuchen solltest...

 

[Vincent Stone]

Noch ein Metalcore text zum korregieren.
Hoffe ihr schaut mal rüber
Lg Daniel

Throne




Strophe:
I am the King of the Throne!
Hail to me, becouse you cant stop me.
The Crown is mine like your Souls!
Everyone will Remain. Jeder wird übrigbleiben?


Bridge:
On Top of the Hill!
On Top of the World!
Accept your destiny and obey!




Chorus:
My Kingdom will ever reign. will reign forever
But the desire comes closer. but desire is coming closer
A heart like stone will never remain the mountain of feelings, remain = übrigbleiben, ist hier sinnlos. A heart of (!) stone will not (was?) from a (!) mountain of feeling, only a (!) wall of solitude

only the wall of solitude!


Strophe 2:
Alone on the top of the Throne!
No one to Hail, No one to serve.
Falling on the Ground, the Hands will drag me Down! hands ohne the
The End is near, The end is near!


Breakdown:
I Dont Fall! I must Remain!
Down on the Ground!
Down on your knees!


Chorus:
My Kingdom will ever reign.
But the desire comes closer.
A heart like stone will never remain the mountain of feelings,
only the wall of solitude!


Epic:
Now its Done! My Reign is destroyed!
Whave I Done? My Destiny is decided! what have I done? mein Schicksal ist entschieden müßte heißen: my destiny comes to an end oder ähnlich
Please show Mercy!
I Beg on you!

mfG, Vince