Neuen Text kombiniert mit altem (kein name - englisch)

[miss understood]

Was haltet ihr davon?und ich habe da bestimmt wieder fehler reingebaut... der anfang wird in der vergangenheit erzählt, dann erzählt die person wie es sich gerade fühlt

Verse 1
It was a rainy day, I was so full with hope
I´ve been waiting , you didn't come
The place was empty ,Ive waited so long...
The wind was blowing strong... All the Time!

Refrain
I miss you so bad, you've make me damn sad
Im searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You've didn't say goodbye, you were not there!

Verse 2
I cant close my eyes, cant sleep tonight
Im still waiting for the bright light
The Wind is whispering your name
Im breaking down and start to cry

Refrain
I miss you so bad, you've make me damn sad
Im searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You didn't say goodbye, you were not there!

 

[desgraca]

hi miss

Verse 1
It was a rainy day, I was so full with hope
full of hope
I´ve been waiting , you didn't come
The place was empty ,Ive waited so long...
besser i waited
The wind was blowing strong... All the Time!

Refrain
I miss you so bad, you've make me damn sad
i miss you so badly you've made me
Im searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You've didn't say goodbye, you were not there!

Verse 2
I cant close my eyes, cant sleep tonight
Im still waiting for the bright light
The Wind is whispering your name
Im breaking down and start to cry

Refrain
I miss you so bad, you've make me damn sad
Im searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You didn't say goodbye, you were not there!

 

[Search 4 Sense]

Verse 1
It was a rainy day, I was so full of hope
I´ve been waiting , you didn't come
The place was empty , I waited so long...
The wind was blowing strong... All the Time!

Refrain
I miss you so badly you've made me damn sad
I'm searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You didn't say goodbye, you simply were not there!

Verse 2
I cant close my eyes, cant sleep tonight
I'm still waiting for the bright light
The Wind is whispering your name
I'm breaking down and start to cry

Refrain
I miss you so bad, you've made me damn sad
Im searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You didn't say goodbye, you simply were not there!

Jetzt wäre zum Beispiel noch ein Outro interessant...
Hier einige Beispiele:

I travelled along in the States,
I was searching for me and also for you,
I came to the Golden Gate,
Couldn't see you walking trough,
Why didn't you come? I'm so alone...

Zweites Beispiel:

Thinking 'bout every problem I ever had,
You are the biggest one I'm gettin' mad,
Why don't you care 'bout me?
Can't you see...
My heart's bleeding...
Call my name and say you're sorry,
If you don't, it'll be the last day of my life,
I'll get pain till death do us part

Denke mal, du kannst damit etwas anfangen...
Interessant wäre sicher auch eine Kombination dieser beiden Varianten

mfg tomess, search 4 sense

 

[miss understood]

Dont you feel the pain in my heart,
I wish many times you where be back,
Tell me you're sorry and get in my life
I've want to be, forever you wive
Dont know what should i do
Feels like im dieing without you

xD was haltet ihr davon

 

[desgraca]

ohje , ich hoff ich habs nu alles richtig verstanden

Dont you feel the pain in my heart,
I wish many times you where be back,
many times i've wished for you to return
Tell me you're sorry and get in my life
and get back into my life
I've want to be, forever you wive
i want to be forever your wive
Dont know what should i do
Feels like im dieing without you
dying

 

[miss understood]

Dont you feel the pain in my heart,
many times i've wished for you to return
Tell me you're sorry and get back into my life
i wanted to be forever your wive
sollte nicht heissen ich will, sondern ich wollte sry mein fehler
Dont know what should i do
Feels like im dieing without you

 

[desgraca]

yup so passts

 

[miss understood]

danke euch < das musste ich mal sagen ^^

 

[x-Riff]

Sorry - doch noch eine kleine Anmerkung:

Dont you feel the pain in my heart,
many times i've wished for you to return

Meines Erachtens heißt die zweite Zeile: Viele Male wünschte ich für Dich, Du würdest zurückkommen.

I wish many times you where be back

Die Ursprungsfassung bedeutet m.E.: Ich wünschte mir viele Male, Du würdest zurückkommen.

Das ist ein kleiner aber feiner Unterschied: im ersten Falle wäre es für ihn besser - im zweiten Fall für Dich.
Die Ursprungsfassung würde übersetzt etwa heißen:
many times i've wished you´d return oder you would have returned oder many times I´ve been waiting for your return oder for you to return

Kommt das so hin oder stehe ich auf irgendeinem Schlauch momentan?

x-Riff

 

[miss understood]

ok dann schaut das jetzt so aus ^^

Verse 1
It was a rainy day, I was so full of hope
I´ve been waiting , you didn't come
The place was empty , I waited so long...
The wind was blowing strong... All the Time!

Refrain
I miss you so badly you've made me damn sad
I'm searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You didn't say goodbye, You simply were not there!

Verse 2
I cant close my eyes, cant sleep every night
I'm still waiting for the bright light
The Wind is whispering your name
I'm breaking down and start to cry

Refrain
I miss you badly you've made me damn sad
I'm searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You didn't say goodbye, you simply were not there!

Verse 3
Dont you feel the pain in my heart,
many times i've wished you´d return
Tell me you're sorry and get back into my life
I wanted to be forever your wife
Dont know what should i do
Feels like im dieing without you

 

[desgraca]

ok dann schaut das jetzt so aus ^^

Verse 1
It was a rainy day, I was so full of hope
I´ve been waiting , you didn't come
The place was empty , I waited so long...
The wind was blowing strong... All the Time!

Refrain
I miss you so badly you've made me damn sad
I'm searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You didn't say goodbye, You simply were not there!

Verse 2
I cant close my eyes, cant sleep every night
besser at night statt every night
I'm still waiting for the bright light
The Wind is whispering your name
I'm breaking down and start to cry

Refrain
I miss you badly you've made me damn sad
I'm searching your sound
In my heart is a big wound, cuz...
You didn't say goodbye, you simply were not there!

Verse 3
Dont you feel the pain in my heart,
many times i've wished you´d return
Tell me you're sorry and get back into my life
I wanted to be forever your wife
Dont know what should i do
Feels like im dying without you

passt für mich dann so weit, auch wenn du unglaublich viele zeiten verbastelt hast, aber das geht schon so

 

[Sunny San]

ich würde gerne mal ehrliche meinungen zum text hörn
was ich nch verbessern müsste usw. was haltet ihr von der story ist soweit alles verständlich^?

 

[x-Riff]

Die story finde ich verständlich. Die Sprache ehrlich, direkt.

Es wird sehr auf die Umsetzung ankommen - der Text als solcher liefert für mich eher Informationen als Bilder.

Aber eine gute Grundlage für eine gute Umsetzung.

x-Riff