Soul´s Journey

[Heaven Insane]

::::::::Soul´s journey::::::::

[pt1]
There´s one thing
It´s crawling in my mind,
whispering words to me
that makes me see no light
trouble exist in my mind
like it´s not all right

On the other hand the angels telling me
there´s another reason for you to be
Just go along and try and you will get
running fast to your goal you´ve set

So I have started running
Hoping I could reach everything,
Hoping it could be all in my might

The drawn picture of yourself,
still hanging on the wall

but there´s one call
It´s telling words into my mind
You´ll never win the fight
See into your cold eyes
Fear shines out of them so bright
Now
I can´t tell myself It´s all right

So I have started falling
Falling down in a hole
started digging deeper long ago

but there´s one letter
which is written on better days
explaining I have to on

So I´m going on
The iced will to survive melts
Brings me to stand up again and again
Brings me to climb the ladder higher
Hoping that soon I will start flying
Can´t denie, I want this a lot
´cause you´re loving red
_________________________________________

pt[2]
The seed under the ground
Is grown to flowers in my brain
Getting drops of water each day
Want to pick the bad crop up
But could not go any longer

Falling down in a hole
started digging deeper long ago
My will to survive is still alive
Keeps me to stand up again and again
Keeps me to climb the ladder higher
Knowing that soon I will start flying
Can´t denie, I want this a lot
´cause you´re loving red

The day the earth stays still
I could life along in my hole
´cause I´m loving red
When my head stops learning
I would not end on this way

Knocking on the exit door
First no sign to get out of here
sitting under the graveyard
listening to the silence
wishing that something happens
wanting to scream out so loud
Already dying ´cause no way out

Falling down in a hole
started digging deeper long ago
My will to survive is still alive
Keeps me to stand up again and again
Keeps me to climb the ladder higher
Knowing that soon I will start flying
Can´t denie, I want this a lot
´cause you´re loving red

Falling down in a hole
started digging deeper long ago
My will to survive is still alive
Keeps me to stand up again and again
Keeps me to climb the ladder higher
Knowing that soon I will start flying
Can´t denie, I want this a lot
´cause you´re loving red
´cause I´m loving red

Show me how far i can get
by
Lovin red
Lovin red
Lovin red
Lovin red

Climbed out of my hole
My whole head is frozen

The drawn picture of yourself,
lying between trash in your bin

Now falling into bed
with no ticket for
the journey back


______

Mh ist iwie so mein Sammelsorium der vergangenen Tage
ändere eigtl jeden Tag etwas daran.. bin jetzt an einem Status,
den ich als fast fertig bezeichnen würde, angelangt....

Würde nun gerne erste Kommentare einfangen!

Richtung : Rock, evtl Ballade

 

[wilbour-cobb]

Ganz schöner Aufsatz, das wird eine lange Ballade...

[pt1]
There´s one thing
It´s crawling in my mind,
whispering words to me
that makes me see no light
trouble exists in my mind
like it´s not all right

On the other hand the angels are telling me
there´s another reason for you to be
Just go along and try and you will get
hier kommt irgendwie nicht rüber, was der Angespochene bekommen soll.
running fast to your goal you´ve set
das "your goal you" eher nicht, da besser nur der bestimmte Artikel

So I have started running
Hoping I could reach everything,
Hoping it could be all in my might

The drawn picture of yourself,
"drawing" oder "picture", das ist doppelt
still hanging on the wall

but there´s one call
It´s telling words into my mind
nur "to my mind" - auch wenn es nur "Kopfstimmen" sind, das sagt "to" auch aus.
You´ll never win the fight
See into your cold eyes
look! - see geht gar nicht
Fear shines out of them so bright
is shining, weil es in dem Moment des reinschauens geschieht. Wenn du das nicht aussagen willst, dann brauchst du da ein entsprechendes Signalwort wie "always"
Now
I can´t tell myself It´s all right

So I have started falling
Falling down in a hole
ohne in
started digging deeper long ago

but there´s one letter
which is written on better days
was written at
explaining I have to on
go on?

So I´m going on
The iced will to survive melts
besser "is melting", das going on im Satz davor bringt den ganzen Abschnitt ins jetzt
Brings me to stand up again and again
Brings me to climb the ladder higher hier natürlich überall auch
Hoping that soon I will start flying
Can´t denie, I want this a lot
´cause you´re loving red
_________________________________________

pt[2]
The seed under the ground
Is grown to flowers in my brain
das geht nicht, has become flowers oder so
Getting drops of water each day
Hier kein Gerund wegen der Vorzeitigkeit
Want to pick the bad crop up
But could not go any longer

Falling down in a hole
started digging deeper long ago
My will to survive is still alive
Keeps me to stand up again and again
Keeps me to climb the ladder higher
Knowing that soon I will start flying
Can´t denie, I want this a lot
´cause you´re loving red

The day the earth stays still
stand still - Michael Rennie was ill The Day the Earth Stood Still, but he told us where we stand..."
I could life along in my hole
hier fehlt wohl ein Verb?
´cause I´m loving red
When my head stops learning
I would not end on this way
ohne on - und eigentlich "Be ending", aber das ist schon fast "zu richtig", so spricht man ja kaum noch

Knocking on the exit door
First no sign to get out of here
sitting under the graveyard
listening to the silence
wishing that something happens
will happen
wanting to scream out so loud
Already dying ´cause no way out

Falling down in a hole
started digging deeper long ago
My will to survive is still alive
Keeps me to stand up again and again
Keeps me to climb the ladder higher
Knowing that soon I will start flying
Can´t denie, I want this a lot
´cause you´re loving red

Falling down in a hole
started digging deeper long ago
My will to survive is still alive
Keeps me to stand up again and again
Keeps me to climb the ladder higher
Knowing that soon I will start flying
Can´t denie, I want this a lot
´cause you´re loving red
´cause I´m loving red

Show me how far i can get
by
Lovin red
Lovin red
Lovin red
Lovin red

Climbed out of my hole
My whole head is frozen

The drawn picture of yourself,
of you?
lying between trash in your bin

Now falling into bed
with no ticket for
the journey back

Joa, so ein richtig roter Faden ist nicht zu finden, manche Sachen hängen bestimmt an den Formulierungen. Ich glaube in einigen Fällen ist das was steht nicht, was du sagen willst. Auch das hin und her in den Zeiten ist nicht hilfreich. Wirkt tatsächlich ein bisschen "Runtergeschrieben", ohne Plan und ohne dass du weisst, was du ausdrücken willst. Aber das steht ja auch in deinem Kommentar.