Mein erster Text - Kritik erwünscht

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30.04.11
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Hallo allerseits.
Bin neu auf dieser Seite und hab mich sofort auf die Vocal-Sektion gestürzt.
Ich schreib seit kurzem Texte, nichts besonderes, ohne Melodie im Hintergedanken (noch nicht), sind einfach
ein paar Schreibversuche. Falls es Grammatik/Rechtschreibfehler gibt, weist mich ruhig drauf hin.
But go easy on the new guy :D

The Game



There are no dice,
There ain't a six to save you
And there is no black and white
You don't have to choose a side
You're on your own

It'S like playing cards
You are expected to bluff
There's only one difficulty
to choose, there's only "hard"
You're on your own

It doesn't start with a kick-off
but it ends with someone losing everything

This is the game
where the pool is defined
by the strength of your feelings
This is the game
where the reward is endless
happyness and suffering
at the same time
This is the game

There are no rules
you'll have to create your own
and you'll find yourself confused
when you realize, you're the only one who follows
You're on your own


There is no referee
you are the only one to judge
What'S right and was wrong
and whether to say or not
you're on your own

This is the game
where the pool is defined
by the strength of your feelings
This is the game
where the reward is endless
happyness and suffering
at the same time
This is the game


where everything you say counts
where everything you do remains
where every consequence haunts you
cause


This is the game
where the pool is defined
by the strength of your feelings
This is the game
where the reward is endless
happyness and suffering
at the same time
This is the game

and you're playing it all alone


EDIT: Wovon der Text handelt lass ich euch mal interpretieren :) ich lös es später auf, falls die kritik gut ist
 
Eigenschaft
 
Zuletzt bearbeitet:
the game = das leben?

Für den ersten Versuch echt gelungen.
Werde mich bei Gelegenheit etwas genauer damit beschäftigen.
 
Vielen Dank :)

Nein, das Leben ist es nicht, obwohl das auch passen würde, wie ich nach mehrmaligem Lesen gemerkt hab.
 

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