Once Again

[knoopas]

Und hier ist number two, dann ist aber auch Schluss fuer heute
Ich mag den text eigentlich, weiss aber nicht ober bissel zu sketchy ist?
Naja, hier ist er.
Viele Gruesse, Florin

Once Again


Last night I walked along this lonely road
And I don’t know why but I felt lonely, too.
Where were you?

Last night I got to this lonely place
Where I have never been, connecting so many streets.
Where were you?


So many streets and I don’t know where to go.
So many people that want me to believe.
So many hands but who can I trust.
Don’t leave. Don’t leave me all alone. Don’t leave me on my own.

I made you, you made me and though we are both made by others.
You give me words, I give you voice, we share eyes but you tell me what to see.
I’m born with doubt, a proof makes strong, tell me what’s right, tell me what’s wrong.
But now all proofs are dragged away, when you are gone I have to stay
With tons of thoughts that I can’t use, aimless thoughts, I am confused.
Where are you?

So many streets and I don’t know where to go.
So many people that want me to believe.
So many hands but who can I trust.
Don’t leave. Don’t leave me all alone. Don’t leave me on my own.


Slowly you are coming back, I’m sorry that I doubted your facts
But I can see that you have changed and now I’m feeling safe.
This time it all played out well but I’m scared of the next
Time that I will get to this place again.

 

[x-Riff]

Hi knoopas,

ich versuch´s mal ... was meinst Du mit sketchy?

Once Again


Last night I walked along this lonely road
And I don't know why but I felt lonely, too.
Where were you?
aus dem Bauch heraus entweder where are you oder where have you been

Last night I got to this lonely place
Where I have never been, connecting so many streets.
where I never have been
Where were you?


So many streets and I don't know where to go.
So many people that want me to believe.
ich meine, believe müßte mit irgendwas verbunden werden ... also believe in sth ... dann würde ich auch umstellen und vielleicht so: so many people want me to trust them oder so many people want/ask for my belief
So many hands but who can I trust.
whom
Don't leave. Don't leave me all alone. Don't leave me on my own.

I made you, you made me and though we are both made by others.
irgendwas finde ich komisch an diesem satz ... und weg und dann although?
You give me words, I give you voice, we share eyes but you tell me what to see.
I'm born with doubt, a proof makes strong, tell me what's right, tell me what's wrong.
But now all proofs are dragged away, when you are gone I have to stay
das when würde ich einfach weglassen
With tons of thoughts that I can't use, aimless thoughts, I am confused.
das that würde ich auch weglassen
Where are you?

So many streets and I don't know where to go.
So many people that want me to believe.
So many hands but who can I trust.
Don't leave. Don't leave me all alone. Don't leave me on my own.


Slowly you are coming back, I'm sorry that I doubted your facts
But I can see that you have changed and now I'm feeling safe.
This time it all played out well but I'm scared of the next
Time that I will get to this place again.
get finde ich nicht so schön ... time I come to/am driven to/find me in the same place again

Finde den Text gut.

x-Riff

 

[knoopas]

hey x. Danke schonmal
mit sketchy meinte ich zu offen, nicht genau beschreibend genug.

zu where I have never been. Ich war mir auch nicht sicher, hab mich dann aber an eine nachricht erinnert die mir eine (kanadische) freundin geschickt hat: Each moment is a place you've never been.
Denk also dass es passt.

Mh, mal sehen, vielleicht nehm ich das and though wieder raus.

Was denkst du worueber der text ist?

Danke, Florin

 

[x-Riff]

Na ja - über jemand der in einer beziehung ist, die ihm sicherheit gibt, ihn aber auch abhängig macht und die andere person ist nicht da und er zweifelt daran, ob das bedeutet, dass es aus ist, aber dann kommt sie wieder und es stimmt wieder aber der zweifel kann jederzeit wieder kommen ...

 

[knoopas]

not quite what I wanted to say. Ich wart mal auf noch ne meinung, dann sag ich meine gedanken.
Vielen Dank fuer deine schnellen Antworten

 

[wilbour-cobb]

Willst du das Wort "that " nicht einfach vergessen. Du kannst damit nicht umgehen........Wo es hin muss fehlt es und wo es nicht hingehört ist es mit Sicherheit da!

Once Again


Last night I walked along this lonely road
And I don’t know why but I felt lonely, too.
Where were you?
aus dem Bauch heraus entweder where are you oder where have you been
Nee, "where were you" geht.

Last night I got to this lonely place
Where I have never been, connecting so many streets.
where I never have been
geht auch.
Where were you?


So many streets and I don’t know where to go.
So many people that want me to believe.
ich meine, believe müßte mit irgendwas verbunden werden ... also believe in sth ... dann würde ich auch umstellen und vielleicht so: so many people want me to trust them oder so many people want/ask for my belief
ne, das geht so mit dem "believe" aber es sollte "people who.." heissen.
So many hands but who can I trust.
whom
nein, "which"
Don’t leave. Don’t leave me all alone. Don’t leave me on my own.

I made you, you made me and though we are both made by others.
irgendwas finde ich komisch an diesem satz ... und weg und dann although?
You give me words, I give you voice, we share eyes but you tell me what to see.
I’m born with doubt, a proof makes strong, tell me what’s right, tell me what’s wrong.
das "proof makes strong" hat irgendwie keinen bezug
But now all proofs are dragged away, when you are gone I have to stay
das when würde ich einfach weglassen
besser, recht verwirrend dieses "when"
With tons of thoughts that I can’t use, aimless thoughts, I am confused.
das that würde ich auch weglassen
muss weg!
Where are you?

So many streets and I don’t know where to go.
So many people that want me to believe.
siehe oben
So many hands but who can I trust.
Don’t leave. Don’t leave me all alone. Don’t leave me on my own.


Slowly you are coming back, I’m sorry that I doubted your facts
"that" weg!!
But I can see that you have changed and now I’m feeling safe.
und wieder!!
This time it all played out well but I’m scared of the next
was soll den "played out" heissen?
Time that I will get to this place again.
und das "that " ist auch nicht schön und völlig falsch hier....
get finde ich nicht so schön ... time I come to/am driven to/find me in the same place again


Ich habe auch keinen Schimmer worum es in dem Text gehen könnte, außer dass dein Navi nicht mehr geht und du dich nun verfahren hast.
Das liegt neben der extrem unenglischen Formulierung auch an den unpräzisen Beschreibungen in den immer gleichen Vokabeln.

"Last night I got to this lonely place
Where I have never been, connecting so many streets"

Erstmal ist hier der Bezug verwirrend, du arbeitest mit Gerund und das bezieht sich auf das "I", also "Wo ich niemals war und die Straßen verbunden habe", und der ganze Satz ist unpräzise. "Last night I reached a empty crossing, where I've never been before" würde deutlich sagen, was hier vor sich geht.

Und so ist der ganze Text: unabsichtlich verwirrend, unenglisch und unpräzise.