hoi leutz, ich bin ja eigentlich kein Sänger, aber der Thread hier scheint mir perfekt um meine selbst geschriebenen Texten zu posten. Ich würd gerne mal n paar meinungen von euch hören (Kritik - Lob - Tipps etc.) Meine fragen an euch : sind n paar sachen vllt übertrieben?versteht man manche textzeilen net? gibs irgendwo keine sinnvollen gedankenverknüpfungen? oda sowas in der art... n kleine frage am rande: findet ihr, der text passt zu ner Metal-/Emocore-Band?könnt ja eure antworten vllt begründen... Revolution of my soul we kissed us for many years but on one day,it was different with a dither voice and many tears you said it to me "I love you but i must go" that was the last sentence you said i catch the gun and put the trigger and i hit you deadly Ref.: I like myself and my life and ev'rybody who wants to destroy it I will put him down to the ground at the bodom he'll feeling kicked! you explain, you've met an other person an other person completly different from me i couldn't understand it but i learn and PUSH YOU AWAY! Ref.: I like myself and my life and ev'rybody who wants to destroy it I will put him down to the ground at the bodom he'll feeling kicked! you hurt myself so much and I hate you but now, there was a revolution of feelings in my soul I swear to me I will never appoint myself to somebody no woman should can hurt me Ref.: I like myself and my life and ev'rybody who wants to destroy it I will put him down to the ground at the bodom he'll feeling kicked! the revolution is completly finished my life is only mine because i won't be punished (anymore) and that's why I'm here! Ref.: I like myself and my life and ev'rybody who wants to destroy it I will put him down to the ground at the bodom he'll feeling kicked! danke mfg
Revolution of my soul we've been kissing (us) for many years but one day,it was different with a dither voice and many tears you said to me "I love you but i must go" that was the last sentence you said besser: these were the last words you said i catch the gun and pull the trigger and i hit you deadly Ref.: I like myself and my life and ev'rybody who wants to destroy it I will put him down to the ground to/down the bottom hell feel kicked! (bodom ist ein see in finnland) you explain, you've met an other person another (an other gibt es nicht) person completly different from me i couldn't understand it but i learn and PUSH YOU AWAY! Ref.: I like myself and my life and ev'rybody who wants to destroy it I will put him down to the ground at the bodom hell feeling kicked! you hurt me so much and I hate you but now, there was a revolution of feelings in my soul I swear to myself I will never appoint myself to somebody meinst du unterordnen oder sowas? no woman should can hurt me Ref.: I like myself and my life and ev'rybody who wants to destroy it I will put him down to the ground at the bodom hell feeling kicked! the revolution is completly finished besser: is complete my life is only mine because i won't be punished (anymore) and that's why I'm here! Ref.: I like myself and my life and ev'rybody who wants to destroy it I will put him down to the ground at the bodom hell feeling kicked! ich sag nix mehr zum inhalt das is nich meine welt, aber muss es ja auch nich sein liebe grüße
Gleiche wie gerade... Viel zu viel Refrain. 4x Refrain is echt zu viel wie ich finde. Mach die Strophen mal doppelt so lang, dann brauchste den Refrain nur 2 - 3x bringen und dann sollte das besser klingen. Grammatikalisch wurde ja schon korrigiert.
