Text - "Mary Jane"

[D.L. Styles]

Ein Text, den ich vor ner Woche oder so geschrieben hab.

Mary Jane

[Str 1]
Hey Mary Jane, do you know who I am?
I am the one who made you cry
The plastic face
that has smiled so wide
Can you remember the screaming?
Hey, Mary Jane, does it hunt you down?

[Ref]
Can you remember the screaming?
I still hear you screaming,
I can hear you screaming.

[Str 2]
Miss Mary Jane, how can i help you?
"I am dirty and want to die"
Hey, Mary Jane please stop crying

[Ref]
Cause I remember you screaming
I still hear you screaming,
I can hear you screaming.

[Nach Ref]
I am so sick
imprisoned, thinkin bout my life
Got beat down, getting my sins back

gibts Fehler, Verbesserungsvorschläge?

 

[desgraca]

wirkliche fehler nicht, nur zwei stellen wo ich's anders audrücken würde:

Mary Jane

[Str 1]
Hey Mary Jane, do you know who I am?
I am the one who made you cry
The plastic face
that has smiled so wide
Can you remember the screaming?
Hey, Mary Jane, does it hunt you down?

[Ref]
Can you remember the screaming?
I still hear you screaming,
I can hear you screaming.

[Str 2]
Miss Mary Jane, how can i help you?
„I am dirty and want to die“
besser: i am dirty and i want to die
Hey, Mary Jane please stop crying

[Ref]
Cause I remember you screaming
I still hear you screaming,
I can hear you screaming.

[Nach Ref]
I am so sick
imprisoned, thinkin bout my life
Got beat down, getting my sins back
da gehört eher sowas hin wie "have to pay for my sins" oder sowas